I decided to gift myself compassion and grace. I decided that I would place compassion and grace in a velvet box with a bow on top and open it up like it was the best gift that I’ve ever received in my life. We are all trying our best. We are all doing the best we can while still pushing through this global pandemic. (hey we are still in it people). Thankfully, the world is slowly getting back to normal and opening up more which is perfect because it allows us all to get outdoors.
Let’s rewind to the beginning of the pandemic, to when the world was in lockdown and all we had was TikTok and our four walls. I was pregant and depressed then. Thankfully I was at home, healthy, safe, growing my beautiful baby but I was depressed. I talk alot about this in my book as well. Let’s face it, hormones do not make things even better. I think a lot of people in the beginning of the pandemic struggled with adjusting to this new normal. This pandemic took and is taking a lot out of our mental health. We aren’t able to connect with people the way that we have in the past, but a year later I have learned that there has always been ways for us to connect with others, we were just so depressed that we couldn’t see it. Life was hard, it was hard ya’ll. I am so happy that I am learning to get out of that space.
Forgive yourself for not knowing
what you didn’t know before you learned itMaya Angelou
Why are we so damn hard on ourselves?
How can we silence our inner critics?
Since I started going to therapy, I am learning to show myself grace. To not be so hard on myself as a new mom. To embrace the fact that I am human. To put my mask on and get outdoors more, because I can’t be in the house anymore. There’s life to be lived. I had a revelation, a come to Jesus moment one night when I was giving my baby a bath. I sat on the floor next to the tub, watching her hold her bath toys in her hand, watching her splash the water and realized that it was the first time I enjoyed giving her a bath. I cried that night, knowing that for sooo long, for sooo sooo long, this ENTIRE time since I had her, since she was in my womb, I WAS IN MY OWN HEAD, which made me completely incapable of enjoying the moments I had with her. This is why mental health is sooo fucking important. This is why bringing awareness is sooo important. Without therapy, I would have still been in my HEAD.
Here are some ways that I am showing myself grace, especially as a new mom:
I am starting to be more patient with myself
I am in the process of forgiving myself first and foremost
I am accepting what I can and can’t control
I am enjoying moments more
By giving myself grace, I am a better mom, sister, daugther, friend
I am accepting that I am not producing as much breastmilk for my baby, so I am accepting the fact that I have to supplement with formula now when I am not producing much. ( Which takes sooo much weight off of my shoulders because breastfeeding is hard)
I hope by me sharing this with you, you take a moment to sit with yourself and apologize to yourself for being so hard on yourself. To take that moment and vow to love yourself a bit more. To understand that yes though you are dealing with something, you can get past it, you can work through it. Gift yourself grace.