My toddler fought taking her second nap of the day yesterday. She ended up being completely exhausted by 6:00 p.m, which I knew, wasn’t going to be good for me but I let her nap anyway. That meant she would be up rather early and I would not have any sleep in time for work in the morning. I learned a secret to this though. The sleep when your baby sleeps is still relevant even when you have a toddler. When I am not working, I am taking naps with my daughter to ensure that I am not overly exhausted or overwhelmed. So when she closed her eyes at 6:00 p.m. I was snuggled up beside her. We woke up at 11:00 p.m. last night, grabbed some grapes, her bottle and cuddled in bed watching Encanto. Which I absolutely love by the way. We watched Encanto wayyy too many times over the weekend. I even played “We don’t talk about Bruno” on my drive to work this morning, taking sips of my coffee that I didn’t have time to drink at the kitchen table because I didn’t go back to sleep until 3:00 in the morning and you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Nova is 15-months now. Before having Nova, I used to ask, “ Why do parents keep referring to their child’s name in months, rather than saying she is 1 years old?” but as a parent, now I get it. I fully understand it. A 15-month old does so much more than a 12-month old. There’s a difference.  

I learned so much about myself and about my daughter in these 15-months. As I look back, there are so many things that I wish I had done differently and so many things that I am grateful for. For instance, I wish I had breastfed longer than 6-7 months. I made a goal to breastfeed until she was at least 1 years old but my body said otherwise. Breastfeeding is tough and requires a lot of patience. I mean…I used to pump in my car during lunch breaks at work. I remember the moment she finally latched while she was in the NICU like it was yesterday and the failed attempts to get her to latch before that moment. Her little eyes looked at me like, “What in the world are you doing?”. 

I have to admit though, I am glad that I stopped breastfeeding when I did. My health improved, including my teeth. Breastfeeding takes a lot out of you and you have to be on top of nourishing your body while nourishing your little one. But a fed baby is best. It took a lot of stress off of me when I stopped breastfeeding. I would totally do it again though if I have more children in the future.

Clothes. SO MUCH CLOTHES. I probably overspent on clothes and pampers when she was first born. With the pandemic still going on, she didn’t even have the chance to wear most of the clothes that she had. I found myself donating most of her clothes. I cleaned out her dresser the other day and discovered that she absolutely does not need much clothes. I rather her wear the hell out of the clothes that she has until seasons change. The same for me, I’ve been attempting to be a minimalist for years now and thanks to having Nova, I learned to just keep only what I absolutely love. 

I also discovered that you can save a whole lot of money by purchasing the “Parent’s Choice” brand from Walmart. I know what you’re saying, “WALMART?! You don’t shop at Target?!” I shop at both, but as a parent now, WALMART’s prices are appealing. Quality is great as well. I can’t complain.

I am a member of the group of  parents that co-sleeps with their child and please do not chime in here with unsolicited co-sleeping advice. I thought Nova would sleep in her beautiful cherry oak mini crib with it’s pink bedding and canopy purchased from Ikea, but I found her in the bed with me. Though she takes naps in her own bed, she sleeps with me. We snore and all. I may regret it later on when I can not get her out of the bed with me but I am enjoying it right now. 

God gave me her for a reason and I am extremely grateful.

When I look down at her, she looks at me as if I am her whole entire world. 

I used to read to her while she was in the womb and now the same books I read to her while in the womb, she grabs from her book shelf, sits on the floor and pulls my hand to read it to her. She absolutely loves books and her loving them makes my heart smile.  When I am reading my own books, she comes over to me and grabs it from my hands too. This is 15 months now.  Seeing her explore and discovering the things that she likes. 

She is walking, learning to use the potty, and watching me do everything.  I find that letting her use the potty when I use the potty helps too. When I put eyeshadow on, and I leave the makeup bag on my bed, she reaches into the bag and pulls out her own brush for her face. 

I am trying to practice gentle parenting but I need to educate myself more on this. She now has her fits and tantrums especially when she wants to hold something she shouldn’t hold on to or get out of the bath. I’m a gentle parent in general but I want to make sure that I am creating space for her to be fully herself but have her understand that certain things are a no… If that makes any sense at all.  IDK. I’m learning.  I am a part of the,  “Conscious Parenting for Black Moms” on Facebook as well ( I swear there are groups for just about anything these days), but I need to get my hands on some gentle parenting books.

I am excited to see the growth in her but also sad that time is flying by so fast. Before you know it, her little tiny hands will not be tiny hands and she may or may not even want to hold my hands. Though she is growing beautifully, I am missing my little baby Nova, my pooty poppers and that makes me sad. 

I love being a mother. It’s by far the best job that I ever had and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Here’s to enjoying time with our little ones and watching movies wayy too many times.