Dealing With A Narcissist Co-Parent? I Got It From Here by Francesca Miracola Reminds Us That We Are Not Alone

When was the last time anyone had a good hug? I am talking about the kind of hug that allows you to sink deep into another’s chest and that allows you to let your shoulders fall with relief. That is the kind of hug that I wanted to give Francesca and that I so deeply needed because I understood her situation. I finished this book in one sitting. I started this book at 6:30pm and finished at 11:30pm. I haven’t finished a book in one sitting in a very long time. I surprised myself. I enjoyed this book and I give this book a raving five stars.

Summary of I Got It From Here:

Growing up in an Italian American family in Queens, New York, in the ’70s, Francesca Miracola was trained from an early age to keep up appearances at all costs—but behind closed doors, her parents’ toxic marriage served as a blueprint for dysfunction. So when she met Jason Axcel at a bar as a twentysomething, she ignored all the red flags—and there were plenty of them—and dove right in, normalizing his emotional and physical abuse just like she’d learned to do. She even married and had two children with him. But something in her clicked one night when Jason strolled out the door after a vicious fight that left her degraded on the floor, and she decided she was done.

Except Jason wouldn’t let her go.

Even after they finally divorced and Francesca fell in love with someone else, her ex-husband was keen enough to recognize that she was the same broken girl he’d met a decade earlier, and he exploited that fact at every turn. He called the cops to her home with bogus claims; he bombarded her with provoking emails and texts; he stalked her every move; and, worst of all, he used their little boys as pawns in his campaign. Then he went for the jugular and sued her for custody. But Francesca was stronger than he’d given her credit for.

Raw and illuminating, I Got It from Here is one woman’s story of saving herself and her children from the grips of a sociopath posing as a family man—and from the inherited trauma passed down by her own family of birth—while learning to trust in the inner voice that’s been trying to guide her all along.

My Thoughts (Spoiler Alert):

This book is raw, well written and to the point. We feel everything Francesca is feeling. From the pressure to be married, having a dysfunctional family, being with a narcissist, going through a divorce and having to coparent with a narcissist. I loved that she spoke about how her friends even eventually stopped being bothered with her drama. I felt like I was in the court room with her. I was pissed with her. I felt the pain that she felt. I felt for her children because divorce and not being able to be with your child because of parenting time, is though. Jason gave her a really hard time and I wanted to step to him myself. In the beginning of their relationship Francesca so desperately wanted to be loved and respect her culture, that she ended up settling for the likes of Jason. Jason had her stuck for years even after divorce, made her life and her children’s lives miserable. She wanted to move on with her life and heal but Jason made it impossible to do so. That’s what happens with narcissists. They are parasites and hard to get rid of. While reading this I thought, when is it going to be good? When is she going to get through this? It kept going. The book was not done. With a narcissist, it’s never about the children. It’s about the need to have control and Jason had it.

Every romantic relationship began from my broken places, and each one added to my sense of unworthiness. I wanted to matter to someone so badly that I never gave a thought to what truly mattered to me

Francesa Miracola, I Got It From Here

This book confirmed that there were others going through similar life situations as myself. I know plenty of women that can relate to Francesca’s story as well. That are going through family court and that are trying to move forward with their lives and have a life with their children. What narcissists fail to understand is how much their temperament and their need of  control affects their children. I am so sorry for women who have experienced this and felt like there was no way through it.

I am proud of Francesa for telling her story and revealing the truth to us. I hope her children are proud of her too. I am proud that she remained steadfast and didn’t give up. Despite numerous custody battles, she pushed forward with making a life for her children. She was still there for her children. She still remarried. She pushed forward even though it was hard as hell to do.

A good long hug can change lives. If I had the chance, I would hug her and tell her that I am so happy she shared her story with us, that I hope that she is happy and well loved. The ending of this book was chef’s kiss and I am so happy that she started her healing journey with her therapist. I remember when I sat in front of my therapist for the first time and had that pivotal moment, the realization that the healing process was starting. Thank you Francesca for sharing that part with us.

I highly recommend adding this to your to be read list and sharing this with anyone that is going through a similar situation with Francesca so that they will know that they are not alone in this struggle either.

I wonder what happened to Jason since she wrote this book? I wonder if he ever apologized for putting her and her children through all of his mess. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t, narcissist rarely do.

Happy Reading Folks.

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